October 18, 2006

Mr. Link's Cotillion Days

Here's one from the Mr. Link archives circa 1961. Back in the '60s when kids were protesting the draft and searching for the meaning of life, where was Mr. Link? Why right down at the cotillion in Miami's La Gorce Country Club scoring with Miami's debutantes and living the swinger's life. That's him second from the left with his best bud, Thornton Winchester IV and their hot dates. Mr. Link likes to tell the story of Thornton having an answering machine because he was "quite well off".
Mr. Link's date was Gladys Manishevitz of the Fort Lauderdale Manishevitzes. She would later become the 1st Mrs. Link.
(to be continued)

October 12, 2006

Mr. Link's Bad Day




.......Mr. Link has the night sweats again. It’s the same dream. The monkeys, the monkeys. There is one that is always prominent in his nightmare: George. Mr. Link rises from bed and slumps down the darkened hallway to the gameroom bar. A shot of courage from a bottle makes the world sane again. Flashback, Philippine jungles, late 1980s. Mr Link is on patrol for the USMC. He takes 30 rounds of ammo for his gun, but at the end of patrol he must account for each round. That’s the first problem. While shuffling along the border fence, he spies a group of monkeys in the trees. In the tropical heat, they become the enemy to Mr. Link. George, is the head evil-doer. In his fevered mind, Mr. Link believes that the monkeys have been taught to hate Marines and that the offenders must be run off. What will Mr. Link do? He curses the USMC for their red-tape policies! “A rock, a rock”, Mr Link mutters as he looks down at the sandy earth. There before him is all the ammo he will need and no one will account for this. In one quick movement he snatches a rock and thrust it in the direction of the Marine-hating George. Second mistake. George is smarter though. Like an outfielder for the Yankees, George snares the projectile and in a swift move returns the rock toward Mr. Links head. “In Coming!”, Mr. Link yells. He turns, the other monkeys, now agitated pick up rocks and hurl them at the retreating Marine. Mr. Link tears through the jungle never to return to border patrol. Present day. He downs the last shot. It is late at night: 8:45. He stumbles back down to his bed wrapping his head in the pillow of indifference. Another night, another nightmare. George, George, he mumbles.

October 05, 2006

Magnets Don't Float or Why ITS doesn't Work.


Here we have Mr. Link's legendary moment captured forever. It happened so quickly no camera could capture it!
It was a cold January morning. Hoji and I gathered at the coffee area, waiting for Mr. Link to fix our Melitta One:One. Seems the float had gotten stuck in the tank. Mr. Link (a EE by the way) wondered aloud how the float worked. I informed him that the float contained a magnet. He was outraged!! "MAGNETS DON'T FLOAT!!", he cried. Hoji and I tried to convince him with logic and reason, but to no avail.
The next thing we knew, Mr. Link, in a fit of pure rage, smashed the offensive water tank on a desk in a futile attempt to dislodge the "floating magnet". Hoji and I were aghast as pieces of plastic flew like grenade shrapnel. After the a brief pause I uttered the sarcastic retort, "That's why ITS doesn't work!"
ITS was a project that Mr. Link had spent some frustrating months on with no resolution in his immediate future.
With my offhand utterance, Mr. Link boiled into another volcanic rage and uttered, "f*#@ both of you!!". With that he was off in a flurry of malcontent and a legend was born...